Monthly Archives: May 2013

Government Ineptness Earns a Slow Clap

You know how many people make the claim that government is inefficient, ineffective, immoral, and sometimes just plain insane? Then, while espousing these opinions claim we need another revolution? Now, I am all about some revolution in due time, but this week has probably been the best week ever for political dissidents. Gosh, where do I even start? The proverbial shit is is hitting the fan for the Obama administration in just about every way possible, and while Eric Holder and the president (et. al.) are in damage control overload right about now, I am highly amused.

Eric Holder wiretapping his nose.

Eric Holder wiretapping his nose.

They are really epitomizing the argument that government is not only corrupt, but terrible ineffective at covering up their debacles. Now, this may seem depressing to most people, but it is hilarious to me. It is starting to seem like armed revolution is not going to even be necessary because the government might implode from the weight of its own stupidity. Just on Tuesday, before it was discovered Holder was not only spying on AP reporters, but on members of the House in the very private cloak room, the DOJ announced that it was going to have the FBI investigate the IRS for their controversial scrutiny of conservative groups.

I almost died laughing. And then I imagined an idealistic situation where the IRS audited the DOJ as payback, inadvertently exposed that they were spying on AP reporters because of the potential to report a gun running operation in Libya that (ding ding ding!) led to the assassination of Ambassador Stevens in Benghazi.

I love it when a plan comes together. The derp is getting to crucial levels, but a girl can dream, right? For real, though, why not just let the whole thing implode on itself? I am all about avoiding the state and its silly laws, and will pretty much continue to do that until they come and throw me in a FEMA camp or whatever. So, this whole idea of an armed revolution is getting increasingly irrelevant. It’s starting to look like a whole lot of extra work with dire consequences for nothing. People can revolt if they really want, but why shed blood for something that seems to be taking care of itself?

Conversely, should we stop being vigilant in the face of such ineptness?


Well, now that would be silly to suggest such a thing. Keep on doing the activism you love and raising awareness about subjects important to you. But being a reformed doom and gloomer, when these scandals happen sometimes you just have to laugh at the utter ridiculousness of the people claiming the moral authority to be our rulers. Silly rulers, tricks are for baby goats!

The comfort we can find in all of this is that the monolithic government is one of fallible, stoogelike men whose hubris prevents them from being effective at covering up their exploits. This is something to rejoice over because it proves that they can’t get away with everything, and are not omnipotent and omniscient.

How I like to imagine Cabinet and Congress meetings.

How I like to imagine Cabinet and Congress meetings.

The realization that the government is run by incompetent yet arrogant clowns is an excellent way for averting the fear that comes along with exposures of corruption or the passage of draconian laws. We should expect the future to contain certain economic downfalls and prepare accordingly for survival purposes, but letting “them” win by scaring you into thinking they are the monolith that has everything under control is unnecessary and frankly gives them more credence than they have demonstrated. The idea that the state can control its own scandals while effectively managing real crises or the economy is as mythical as a zebraguanaram, and the sooner you do away with that burden of thought, the better you will feel.

Hey look, it's effective central planning!

Hey look, it’s effective central planning!


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Filed under Humorous/Political

Freedom is a Funny Thing

Yesterday was a pretty slow day at the office. There were few clients, and the phones were silent. I had taken a break from being called a statist sheeperson by keyboard warriors, and was chilling with my ever insightful boss during the lunch break.


They have no clue what they are messing with.

We talk about dreary subjects pretty often and if it weren’t for humor I’m sure we’d overdose on cynicism. Today was different and given the slowness of business, we decided to watch a movie on Netflix.

I don’t have Netflix, but I constantly hear its praises from just about everyone else I know. Apparently, I am missing out. So, he asks if I have seen the documentary Nitro Circus. For those of you unfamiliar with this movie, it’s like a combination between Jackass, Cirque de Soleil, and motocross (though that description doesn’t do it justice).

He starts the movie and the opening scene is one of the most badass scenes I have ever witnessed. Monster trucks, motorcycles, tricycles, and ATVs are flying through the air in perfectly choreographed chaos doing flips and other physics defying tricks in unison. I wish I could describe how freaking awesome it was, and upon looking it up I guess I am way behind the times. Not having a television for the past several years makes me feel out of the loop sometimes.

The movie was kind of cheesy and definitely had some Jackass moments, but what stood out (aside from the epicness of all the stunts they pulled off) was how carefree they all seemed. They were living their lives to the fullest and not giving any shits whatsoever.


Like this little fella.


They weren’t living in regret of what they were missing out on or fear of what could happen if a stunt went wrong, even though the danger was very real. They weren’t worried that the government would take away their guns, or that there was a conspiracy to poison the water, or that lizard jews were plotting their demise. 


The DMT helper elves can’t be trusted, either.

I worry about my gun rights sometimes and I filter my water because we have the worst water in the country where I live, but have been guilty of being overly paranoid and living fearfully in the past.

In recent years, I have been breaking away from that and enjoying freedom from the shackles of my own mind. I live cautiously for other reasons, but I refuse to give into this crippling fear of a government take over. It’s less stressful to just ignore the PeopleInGovernmentS.

As cheesy as Nitro Circus was, it reminded me to just breathe and continue trying to make the seventy or so years I have on this earth as awesome and meaningful as possible. There is more to life than just the present moment, but I have to kick myself whenever I find myself fretting too much about the future.

I’d rather laugh instead. I’d rather act free than worry about the freedoms I am losing. Every now and then I look around and realize that my life is pretty incredible. No wait, hold up.


Even suffering brings forth the most vibrant fruits.

Maybe we are on a downward spiral of tyranny, but I refuse to let that scare me from living life. My mind cannot be controlled, and neither can my spirit. It won’t be controlled by outside influences or the confines of my own doubts because regardless of which tyrant is trying to take away your liberties, freedom begins in the mind.

You can enslave yourself with your own psyche and fears, and if you have done that (insert the ever nefarious “they”) have already won. Knowledge increaseth sorrow, but succumbing to your own fears will cripple you. I have no problem being sappy from time to time, but ain’t nobody got time for fear. I’m too busy living this awe-inspiring existence to be bothered with that mess. So, cheer up and smell the roses (whether or not they are covered in pesticides or chemtrails).


These roses smell like food coloring.




Filed under Humorous/Political

Another Armed March on D.C. (Load Your Super Soakers)

With tensions among libertarians heightened after Adam Kokesh announced an armed march on D.C., another activist has begun to organize a march on D.C. Austin Petersen of Freedomworks has created an event titled the Armed Toy Gun March on Washington.

Taking a humorous approach to activism, the march will feature toy guns and squirt guns instead of loaded firearms and is set to take place July 3rd, one day before the other march. This is a great opportunity to show your outrage at stricter gun control legislation by using humor to quell an emotional response and strawmanning from the left wing media.

D.C. is known for its strict gun laws, and the police chief of the city has come out saying she will meet the armed march with loaded weapons with full force of the police. This could prove disastrous for a march whose intentions are peaceful despite the misinformed method. As I mentioned before, libertarians are divided on the issue of whether an armed march on D.C. is a way to secure gun rights, and many are concerned about the backlash it could cause the movement and the potential for violence against innocent people. By using humor, we can show that the liberty movement is a peaceful one, but also show the absurdity of gun control laws and public school overreactions over displays of innocuous gun shaped pastries and fingers.

This nonthreatening approach can soften the image of gun rights advocates, many of whom just want to be left alone to coexist peacefully with their neighbors and not start an insurrection. Perhaps the day may come when people have to rise up and take back their rights, but a full on armed march on D.C. may be jumping the gun.

UPDATE: There is another march planned for July 4th that will also not feature loaded firearms. Please support if you are so inclined:


Filed under Humorous/Political

Thoughts on the Armed March on D.C.

I love shooting guns. The thrill of hitting a target and pungent odor of lead tinged with sweat that sometimes results in sore muscles at the end of a long day is an activity I enjoy regularly and feel blessed to have the opportunity to partake in. I think a concerted effort to reduce some of the rights we enjoy is underway and sometimes the biggest people encouraging the rhetoric come from the pro-gun rights side.

The left is more obviously opposed to gun rights, but the gun rights supporters make their fair share of idiotic decisions. The armed march on D.C. during July 4th is one of those cases where (maybe) well intentioned people appear to want to embody literal strawmans whilst encouraged by everyone’s favorite provocateur, Adam Kokesh (because nothing says natural leader like a guy famous for smoking poor quality DMT on camera and then putting it on Youtube).

Advocates of gun control have an easy target to mock now, and this march is fodder for their criticism. Likewise, many conservatives have expressed their disapproval, and I am sure that the people organizing the event really think they are doing something right when they can piss off both predominant ends of the political spectrum.

Pat yourself on the back, fellas, you’re so edgy.

Meanwhile, libertarians, trying their hardest to gain support among the masses, seem divided as usual. “We need a revolution!” “No, this is a really bad idea that will turn more people against the cause!” “Go back to licking those boots SHEEPLE!” “Damn it, you people are retarded.” And so goes some of the discourse.

As an anarchist who believes that the time for rising up is growing nearer, I must side with reason on this issue. You don’t attempt a peaceful march with guns loaded in an area known for its police state mentality on one of the busiest holidays of the year and risk putting innocent people in danger. It is irresponsible, but exactly the kind of thing I would do if I were a government agent who wanted sweeping gun control legislation passed. Then, I would have someone fire a shot in the crowd to rile up the authorities who would then mow down the crowd. Easy peasy.

People, you know better. For all the bitching about COINTELPRO and agent provocateurs I hear from libertarians and anarchists, you’d think they would be better able to discern that an event like this is a perfect example of something that could be staged with the intention to get more gun control passed.

Maybe there are the best of intentions from the organizers and participants, but strategically, this event is just another way for the government to clamp down after the media creates a frenzy based on the yearnings of the most fringe extremists. The premise is that if attacked it won’t be their fault because they are going to be peaceful, but that is akin to going up to the biggest bully in class and spitting on his shoes. Homies, you will get beat down, no bones about it. These dudes have access to fully automatic guns, tanks, grenades, rocket launchers…come on now. What about the children?!

For real, though. Your family is more important than being a martyr that will just be ridiculed out of existence by the media. There’s a bubble. Please get out of it and come back to reality.

Neither you nor Kokesh is a moral equivalent to Martin Luther King, Jr. Quit acting like it.

I will say bravo to Kokesh for being the most excellent shit stirrer and self-promoter. No for real, I am not even trying to be insulting. That, my friends, is how you make a name for yourself in the age of fifteen minutes of fame in the 24 hour news cycle. If you want attention and donations, riling up the masses is great.

I also doubt he will go through with it. He has to be intelligent enough to see the glaringly obvious mistakes from a strategic standpoint, and it is likely he will back down from lack of support. The people stupid enough to go despite the fact will likely be arrested and I hope nothing violent comes from it. I’d like to see a little more critical thinking from the people so quick to decry the effects of being raised by television and the failures of public schooling.

Thinking for yourself also means not just following some charismatic guy who has all the right anti-authoritarian talking points. Call me a coward or a sheeple, but if you claim to not need leaders and end up following an undercover wolf…well, you might be a sheep anyway.


Filed under Humorous/Political